Operation Roxy - In Progress

Monday, September 05, 2005

I am a BAD BAD GIRL!!!!!!!

Today was Fathers Day (Happy Fathers Day DAD!!)

SO I decided to spoil my father rotten starting last week.
It all started off at the chinese restaurant for a suprise dinner last Sunday. Beautiful!

Al this week since I have been sick I have cheated - Yep ALL WEEK I have been off track

Today it was time to spoil Dad again (which of course includes us cause I mean we need to share his "treats" with him)

Started the morning with Bacon and egg on toast with a chicken cheese and garlic sausage
Followed by a massive cheese and kabana platter and bikkies
Followed by Prawns galore
A Wagon Wheel for a snack
Then tonight Dinner was Pancakes with Maple Syrup, Icing Sugar, Strawberries & Cream!!!!!!!

WHAT IN GODS NAME AM I TRYING TO DO TO MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not want to keep this weight on - let alone put on what I have worked so hard to get rid of!
I feel like sticking my fingers down my throat to purge all that I have eaten today and I know that it's way too late for that and it's destructive behaviour anyway!!!!!!

The stupid thing is - I am still sick - my nose is blocked and I can hardly taste most of this wondeful food anyway!!!!
I feel like shit for cheating!!!

If I see 100kg on my scales again I will cry my eyes out, but I know I deserve it!

I have done no excercise this week because I am staying wrapped up in the warm rather than go outside and walk. And I feel lazy!!!!!!! Is being sick a good enough excuse??? I don't really think so. AND I definately have no excuse for avoiding water all week in preference of sweet (diet) fizzy drinks.

Tomorrow it's back on track - NO EXCUSES PERMITTED!!!!!

I need to focus on what I want and what I have to do to be there. Slacking off is getting me nowhere! No more treats for 2 weeks!
No meals, no donuts, no chocollo.
No chocolate, no chips (not even some of someone elses!)

I have a couple of weddings to attend in November - one as a guest and one as a photographer. I NEED to be able to buy new sexy clothes to wear to them. So that means loosing the weight to be able to shop at normal shops and wear normal clothes like NORMAL people.

You know those fake 1kg fat pieces that sit on the counter at the chemist advertising xenical I think?????? I want one!!!! What a great inspiration piece!!! Anyone know where I can get a lard statue??? LOL

SO I think I need a kick in the arse. I need a wake up call. I need Help on my journey at the moment. I have fallen hard.

Posted by Jadey :: 6:28 PM :: 0 comments