Operation Roxy - In Progress

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

So why do I keep posting song lyrics????

Well because I find motivation in the ones I post somewhere. I mean can you get anything better than "THIS TIME I'M PLAYING TO WIN" ???

He even has the point in his song where there is the realisation that what was happening in the past. That which he was happy to go along with and suited him for the time was stupid.

"All those wasted years
Even though I was only emotion away
I got what I wanted from me
I didn't see it was NOT what I needed
I was a fool!"

And I mean seriously - for my weight to top 120kg while I enjoyed food and total lack of excercise and making myself sicker. It really speaks to me! I Was blind to what I needed to do for myself despite that fact I knew I was fat - I mean if you can't buy clothes in normal stores you should know you have a problem. Top that off with the fact that everyone was telling me it was time to do something about it. My Dad even called me his little elephant. My nanna who always gave me $2 and $5 presents gave my Mum a $100 cheque for me for Christmas a few years ago to do something about my weight. (So sweet that she thought that would cover lite n easy or jenny craig until I was skinny again)

When my Nanna died a few years ago we all got a chance to say goodbye. She had had a stroke and was kind of recovering when her lungs filled up with fluid within the week. Nothing hurt me more than my Nanna who had given me this money to get myself under control and I had done nothing! In fact all I had done was out on about 15kg since she had seen me last. My Nanna died that week seeing me at my fattest.

It still took me quite awhile after her death before I would wake up and do something about this. I mean I was SHATTERED that she had seen me like that. Completely Shattered.

So now I would say I am successful! I am losing my weight I am toning up! And at Christmas time when I went to the Families for Christmas dinner they all told me how proud Nanna would be of me and how good I looked. And you know I hope she can see me now. I hope she can see that I am doing this and not only doing it for me, but for her, for my Mum and Dad who were both overweight when I started this and are both now taking sensible steps Mum is even at her goal weight! For my friends both in real life and over the internet that I have met along my way. That I might help them with their own journeys to whatever it may be, weightloss for alot of them. And God I hope I inspire my other half to do this too. To walk the path I am walking with me. To get fit and to enjoy life. To Play to Win!

Now I have been bawling my eyes out typing all of this. It hurts to acknowledge where you have come from and how stupid your past has been. But it is in my past. I honestly didn't think I would be upset by where I have been in my life, because I know I am overcoming this. But the tears roll.

As most of you know I have joined the Body For Life Challenge which is a 12 week challenge but a LIFE of permanent change and transformation. I have had some hurdles thrown at me when I thought all would be so simple if I just folowed the plan. I did my hammy and as soon as I have repaired that I have suffered about the last 10 or so days with extreme dizzyness and migraines that have also led to nausea. I have missed a few days training which is a pain in the arse since I have started seeing the big results you see from the champions. And today the doctor has sent me for neck x rays because something is wrong. But let me make this clear. I will not give up. I will not let this beat me. I will not go back to my old ways! I am going to be the best I can be! I am going to be a Body For Life Champion!

THIS TIME I'M PLAYING TO WIN!

Posted by Jadey :: 12:51 PM :: 15 comments