Operation Roxy - In Progress

Thursday, September 22, 2005

97.7kg! & 70 Days Till Summer

Or so Miss Nicky Tells me (eeek)

I have behaved immensely!
*I woke up early this morning
*and took the dogs for a 1 hour walk before work (They both did more poo than ever!!!! How Embaressing)
*I Caught the train to work
*I stayed away from the tram and walked as fast as I could to the salon
*I have only had 1 diet coke so far
*I ate my slimright bar for lunch without adding extras
*I worked hard at my training and had good results
*I walked from the salon back to the train
*I spent no money (except for on my drinks and my train ticket)
*I walked from the train to Dad's work then back to his car
*I have drunk 1.5 litres of water so far (My goal for the days I work is 1.5 litres)
*I went to the shops with Mum and realised how much we have changed as we had a trolley full of vegetables, 2 bottles of diet coke and a chicken breast for my brother. (How good is that)
*I weighed in this morning (at 97.7kg) A whole loss of 300 grams this week!!

Woohoooo !!!!!!!!!!!
What a great loss yippee yahoo !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nope I don't feel that at ALL!
I feel like shit !

Seriously since saturday I have behaved myself alot! I walked through pain I did everything I am supposed to. I don't think my Saturday night binge was worth 700grams. (But it was yummy) I am not going out tonight for dinner like I normally do on Weight in day because R couldn't come with me cause she is at the bf other house tonight AND with a 300gram loss I so don't deserve it. Apart from that I don't need it.

Megan and I made a pact today - we are going to be the best we can be all week - put in 100% of ourselves and get ourselves on the right track.

I walk past takeaway places at the moment like they own my soul! I want to throw myself through bain-marie's and eat all the chips and potato cakes and EVERYTHING I can smell - why does shit food smell so good?? Why does shit food taste so good??? Why does shit food become addictive???? I want to stop at every drive through - I want to pig out !!!! It is time for me to pull myself into line and I bloody well HAVE too.

Walk Jade Walk - You don't want this, you don't need this, and it doesn't really taste half as good as you think it does. And that's the thing - most of the time when I cheat I am disappointed so I need to remember that and stick to the plan.

Oh well 16.8kg down now - when I could have been at least 20kg by now, if I hadn't cheated for 3 entire weeks of my 12 week program. I should be shifting over to 2 shakes and one meal now - I am at least adding another 3 weeks to this program. Probably another 6 to 12 after that. I must I Must I Must decrease My Arse!

I am going to fit into NORMAL clothes by the time the wedding comes around. I am going to be confident and happy in a nice dress.

I never told you did I??? Nope I don't think I did. Last week I went into Big City Chick. It's a great store in Southland for big girls like me. They tell me their clothes are at Australian Standard Sizing. My last pair of jeans was bought there only a couple of months ago at a size 22.
So I tried on an 18 hopeful. Hrm a little loose. But no where near ready for a 16 - the women told me hey you are here and it doesn't hurt to try. So I dis reluctantly thinking you have no idewa how quickly this one thing could severely dent my mood. THEY FIT!!!!!!!!!!!

I asked her if there was a sizing mistake - Nope Size 16 Jeans OMG

Now I just have to get the courage to go back into a NORMAL store and try a 16 - someone told me to start at Glassons and I do like their clothes so I just might.

I am still FAT though - I am very fat. I got on the train at Ormond this morning that was completely packed thanks to the kids all going to the Melbourne show and I had to squeeze my fat arse on board just to fit in. I felt like people were looking at me thinking how dare she squeeze in here just to take the space of 2 people. then they see the book I am reading and go "yeah reformed dieter, she has never bothered in her life!" I shouldn't think like this I shouldn't be thinking such crap. I am Much better than I was - I am almost back to a weight I was 4 years ago. And I haven't been a size 16 since I was 16.

My God I crap on lately - deep breath I will make it I just need encourangement and support right this second. Time to eat my soup.

Posted by Jadey :: 4:38 PM :: 1 comments